Star

The temporal calendar claims July 24th, but these eyes haven't yet closed on this anniversary of your misstep, and sleep will be dusted with the sweetness of remembering you.

Amy Winehouse *** 14 September 1983 – 23 July 2011

strength

daylight again

following me to bed (CSN)





Sublime Perception || itWorks.how(theMagic)

Once upon a time I watched it stop.
Days once limited in beginning and end opened their eyes like something being born.
Hours that used to slip away let go of each others hands to scatter like water in warm summer wind.
Minutes sat down and crossed their legs, spectators awaiting a grand performance.

Order and structure broke all their bones in one gigantic, relieved, breathtaking gasp.
So that connections between details could turn into a thousand shards of spinning light.

That Forever Moment became strong enough to let death waltz in for an illuminating spin. Nothing could alter such eternal, untouchable shine.

If you could see it, even for a single span.
If I could explain it in some way that would show you this speechless mesmerizing dizzying place.
If I could share it and you could have it, I might surrender my final breath.

EverythingElse would disappear.
And then we both might know that beautiful fleeting flutter where the real power of living lasts.

peace and joy

-autobiographical-

approach to a challenge:

if (!beingawuss) {

!this is too hard
!this is too scary
!this will hurt

this is exciting!
this is awesome!
this is why we are here!
}

else {

go home || die
}


-and if lucky, consult with PF

Bell Jar in a Van Gogh Summer

notes to Sylvia-

you are loved, you know.

you are.

surprised?

but many feel the same silent love for such an unlikely heroine.

the same sense of gratitude.

not for what you did - never for what you did.



for what you shared.

for what you explained.

for what you illuminated - that resounding darkness settling in your mind just like the murky webs of spider-spun moth wings you wrote into pages of cathartic prose.

the trap you could not escape, or defeat, you instead exposed.

you called it out and laid it in plain open sight for anyone paying attention to see.

so that stepping around it could appear like a much better way.


todaytheworldisbrighterthanithaseverbeen

finally

try {
artist.talent(State Illuminated);
artist.blood(State Burning);
artist.moment(State FullyRealized);
}

catch (ThresholdExplosionException exception) {
if (!toolate){
exception.salvation();
}
else {
exception.honor();
}
}

finally {
audience.understand(State Empathy);
}

27

I once met the most magical, miraculous, marauding man.

a man of subtle poise, electric grace, rife with potential in endless tomorrows.

who dazzled with quiet explosions,
and collected astonishment in blinks of his winking eyes.

a man who carried the meaning that makes me shake in the creases over his brow like so many feathers resting in a pillow.

a man who knew things beyond what I know,
and told me about them in short flashes of shocking nonchalance.

for one fierce moment I became brave enough to ask-

what is there, over the edge, after you fall off? down in the deep space that you can't see from a safe distance - once you summon your courage and go. what is there to be claimed?

the man smiled. his eyes glimmered. it made the creases sharpen above his brow-

more edges for falling off.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

thislifethislifethislife – existing is an epic event with too much magnitude.